Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Holidays

Hello,

I have not done this in a while, so I first want to say sorry about that. Second, I want to wish everyone a happy holiday. I loved that time with my family and even though its stressful, it is still the holidays. I felt strange this year though. I have been trying to figure out why, but I can't truly put my finger on it. It could be everything that I need to do and the future that I am about to start on. I think it is hope though. I have lost hope in myself. I have lost hope in the things around me.

I used to be a girl who believed in myself. I liked who I was. I understood that I was not one of those skinny girls who was perfect. I liked my weight, I liked my imperfections, and I liked who I was. I liked my personality, my work ethic, and my positive outlook on life. There are still some things that I believe in, but I have lost that acceptance. I have become one of those women who look down on themselves about how much they weigh, if their hair is behaving, and if their complexion is glowing.

I love what I am doing, but I feel that people look down at me because I want to work in sports. I should not care how I look, if I am perfect, if I am going out every weekend, what people think about my future career, and so much more. I want that back and this is why I am going to make changes for 2013.

I will:

1. Run a race
2. Lose some weight
3. Graduate with my Masters
4. Restore the faith in myself

This blog will help me do it. Stick around for the ups and downs!